Still In The End
"Still the End" is the sequel to "Dirty Details" (which was published by Temple
University Press over a decade ago). It is about spousal chronic illness after nursing home
placement ("Dirty Details" took place before nursing home placement). Two of the
sequel's messages are (1) the nightmare often doesn't end with nursing home placement,
although life can get more reasonable, and (2) society, including many health care
professionals and policy makers, is very much into denial about subtle dementia. A third
theme is valuing the self -- protecting, advocating for, preserving whatever the self has to
give family, friends, clients, students, readers, and others upon whom the self's life
impinges. The responsibility of (and vows made by) the well spouse is not only to the ill
spouse. It is no longer necessary that I hold "attitude" so fervently, but I have it in place
for if and when I do again. I believe that this "attitude" is, basically, frowned upon by
society. I also believe that caring for the self is ultimately tantamount to caring for others.
I've put a lot of time and energy into trying to place this sequel, but it's getting harder
and harder to publish (although I've placed another poetry chapbook - "Parables for a
Rainy Day", Green Fuse Press in CO). In particular, university presses don't seem to do
memoirs, or at least not this one. I've sent "Still the End" to literally hundreds of agents
and publishers, and mostly what I get are compliments, such as "The subject matter is
very important, and the writing is compelling but..." usually the "but" is followed by
something like "this just isn't the sort of thing we can put energy into". Less complimentary
rejections (actually, only one that I can think of) are of the ilk, "the reader is not
invited to feel compassionate about other characters in the story", only the writer.
I actually put considerable thought into inviting compassion for the other characters - in
particular, for the kids and for Jeff (the ill spouse), and I believe that this shows in many
passages throughout the book. Of course, this is my memoir, my story, and I'm not the
only one who feels that "the main character in your memoir is you". It's been helpful to
me that, just a few days ago, one of my (now grown) children said, "What you went
through seems like torture to me." I asked, "And does what you went through seem like
torture to you?" "No," he answered.
Back to the nicely worded and thoughtfully written rejection: what it conveys to me is
"you weren't feeling the way you were supposed to feel, and that's what we want to
read". In a sense I also hear "we don't like your attitude". That "attitude" is a huge part of
what made it possible for me to survive, and to thrive.
At any rate, I've given up trying to place this book with a publisher or agent. Anyone
who's interested - in particular, anyone who found "Dirty Details" helpful - is more than
welcome to read "Still the End", or parts of it. Specifically, who I've had in mind when
writing the book is/are other well spouses (spouses of people who are chronically ill or
disabled). When I was more involved in the Well Spouse Association than I am now, I
met many people who loved and were helped by my "attitude" (I'm sure many didn't and
perhaps weren't), and I still keep these friends in mind. I will never forget.
Link: StillTheEnd-shortESTversion.pdf
LIMERICKS ABOUT WOMEN MATHEMATICIANS
Link: LIMERICKS-ABOUT-WOMEN-MATHEMATICIANS.pdf
ARITHMETIC: MORE OF THE STORY
This is a math paper, not poetry or creative non-fiction (like the other posts on this site). But it's poetic & creative!
A very helpful organization for well spouses (which is the subject of this book) is the Well Spouse Association; its web address is: www.wellspouse.org
Link: ARITHMETIC.pdf
Math-in-LIterature:talk-at-MathFest,includes slides and handout
talk given at MathFest conference, about a course I developed, Math in LIterature -- slides and handout also included
On Aug. 5, 2011 I gave a contributed address at MathFest, a huge math conference, in Lexington, KY. The talk was about a course I developed and teach at Arcadia U. in Glenside PA. The course is Truth and Beauty: Mathema-tics in LIterature; we read and discuss fiction and poetry that was inspired by math. The homework and discussion questions invite writings and conver-sation about the students' own lives and experiences, We grow very close as human beings, while appreciating math, lit, and the connection between the two (and life). This post includes the talk, the slides, and the handout.
Link: Math-in-lit_MathFest-talk,slides,handout.pdf
Oaktag&Eyeballs,Part-II
the second part of Oaktag and Eyeballs
Link: Okt&Ebls-part2-pdf..pdf
Oaktag&Eyeballs,Part-I
a book about children, education, and society gleaned from my experience with un-schooling
This is not a "how to home-school" book, nor a book about the basics of home-schooling. It is, first, about children and adults as they really are, in particular learning-wise. Second, it describes my own home-schooling, or un-schooling, credo; for example, the book idendities various "authorities", related to both conventional and un-schooling. Third, it considers un-schooling as it connects with other modern-day issues -- race issues, class issues, gender issues... Perhaps un-schooling can save the world!
Link: Otg&Eybs-first-part,pdf.pdf
Photo of Marion Cohen
This is my photo; we were sitting around the kitchen table and Ariel said, "Let's get you on My Space..."
Link: marion-myspace-photo.jpg
book cover for "Crossing the Equal Sign"
I'm proud of the cover of my latest book, "Crossing the Equal Sign". The credit goes to fabulous artist Paul Klee.
Link: 9781891386695-cov.pdf
Permission to Add (the math limericks)
These limericks were written when I was teaching calc, diff. eq., PDE, complex, vector, prob/stat, abstract alg, etc.-- NEW! Category theory!
Even NEWER! History of Math and Mathematical Concepts (including transfinites)
Link: Permission to Add (math-teaching limericks).pdf
Info about new book!
My new book, "Crossing the Equal Sign", of poems about the experience of mathematics, is due out in December! Check out this book flyer, which includes a sample poem, a Klee drawing, and details about ordering.
Link: mathpoflyer.pdf
Not Erma Bombeck
This is a prose book, written in the mid-70's, about my experiences and my feelings with and about motherhood.
This was written during (and about" the women's movement of the 70's. My feelings about motherhood have, over the decades, changed in many ways (as explained in the Introduction), but I learned a lot then as, like a child, I went through some necessary "ages and stages".
Link: NotErmaBombeck.pdf
One Thing about Angels
These are the poems written during the last decade -- well, the last 11 years, from 1995 to 2006 (the current year).
Once again, as with the other two "collected poems", there were important things happening about which I wrote other books, published or posted on this site. In particular, "Dirty Details: The Days and Nights of a Well Spouse" appeared in '95 (written a year earlier) from Temple U. Press. Also, "Epsilon Country", well spouse poems, appeared around the same time (but written three or so years ealier) from the Center for Thanatology Research. And it was during the past decade that I worked on and solved a math problem that I'm pleased with (didn't publish it a paper because it turned out that it had been done already) and thereby wrote the poems in "Crossing the Equal Sign". And "Progressive" winds up the well-spouse saga (though never the FORMER well spouse saga...). Also in "Progressive" are more wedding poems (in addition to the ones in this collection). It was during the past decade, too, that I began writing math limericks, and most of them are posted on this site under "Permission to Add". Prose-
wise (besides the published "Dirty Details"), on this site there's "Cruel and Unusual", a long essay on the well spouse and societal issues, as well as "Oaktag and Eyeballs: Thoughts on Children, Education, and Society", which is what I have to say about how to maybe (speaking pragmatically as well as modestly) save the world.
Any poems that I write after this will have to either find a book or chapbook publisher, or wait 'til enough collect so I post them on this site -- so it's with a slight hesitation that I'm about to hit the "Submit" button !
Link: Angels.pdf
The Three-Pointed Star
These "collected poems" were written in 1985-95, during my second decade as a serious writer.
As with "Loneliness of the Short Distance Runner", this collection does NOT include the fall range of pregnancy loss, well spouse, and math poems. These appear in other postings on this site, such as "Progressive", "Crossing the Equal Sign", as well as my published books (such as "The Sitting-Down Hug" and "Epsilon Country", available through Amazon, Borders, and Barnes and Noble).
Link: The3Pted*.pdf
Loneliness of the Short Distance Runner
These are my first poems, written during the first ten years of my life as a serious writer.
These poems do NOT include the poems that appear in my poetry books from those ten years (namely, THE WEIRDEST IS THE SPHERE and SHE WAS BORN SHE DIED). I mention this because
at least two significant things happened to me and my family during those ten years; those two things are revealed in this collection, but the collection does not reflect the fact that it seems to be my way to write many, rather than one or two, poems about the "biggie experiences" in my life. I would want readers of these "collected poems" to know that. (Any reader who would like to read my book sof more "specialized" poems is warmly invited to turn to some of the other postings on this website -- e.g., "Progressive" and "Crossing the Equal Sign" (and, of course, to investigate my published books such as "She Was Born She Died" via Amazon, Borders, Barnes and Nobles, etc.)
Link: Loneliness-of-Short-.pdf
The Life and Habits of the Child-of-Misfortune
People usually agree I've had more than my share of misfortune, and I feel I've also had more than my share of happiness. These poems are meant to describe post-traumatic stress syndrome, NOT depression.
Link: child-of-misfortune.cwk
Closer to Dying: Poems from the 49th Year
These are poems written as I was approaching age 50.
Link: closer-to-dying.cwk
The Fuss and the Fury
the "Devin poems" -- Devin is my youngest child, born in 1985. When I re-read these poems it brings it all back (which is one of the things I hope they'd accomplish).
Link: fuss&fury.pdf
TheWomanMathematician
math prosepoems
Link: TheWomanMathematician.pdf
Cruel and Unusual
This "prose well spouse book" is a collection of related essays, the ideas gleaned from interactions with people while promoting "Dirty Details".
A very helpful organization for well spouses (which is the subject of this book) is the Well Spouse Association; its web address is: www.wellspouse.org
Link: new_cruel_and_unusual.pdf
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